I'm sad again.
I need to finish this season for good.
I'm tired of all the memories.
Besides all the logic answers, never been chosen hurts so much.
I try to understand the feeling and writing about everything that happened it
could heal my heart.
You were a blow, against all my ideas about myself.
How could someone mean so much in such a short time?
I'm totally rational, how could I be involved by such emotion?
How could I believe?
Oh those songs fill my head as an indictment of who I really am.
There's a confusion of sensations in my chest that doesn't want to go.
I'm left with the sadness again.
You came into my life like I've never expected, at all.
Your sweet disposition.
Your opening heart.
Your courage in express yourself
- now a lot of doubts bloom in my mind about your real intentions -
Anyway
Your words that fitted on mine.
Our same thoughts, our minds that matched, like our bodies once did.
Our funny moments
Your peaceful company
Our easy conversation
Your smell, your touch, your smile, your skin, how could I forget it?
You know, maybe I lose myself in my fantasy, but you were all I wanted.
The feeling of lose you is hard, but the time is going on and I'll keep moving my steps foward and in the right time you'll be just a remember
I only catch the wonderful time we've pass together, It was perfect in every single part
Could I forget hugged you? Your skin, could I forget when I kissed you? How could I?
This simple words mean how simple, good, easy, confy, natural and tender was when we were together.
Writing about you I feel the confort like if you were here.
I'm overreacting on my feelings, people can think, but I don't care, everything here is real, I felt it, so this is it!
When I remember all our conversations the feeling is so good, soft, free, fresh, funny, smells like teen spirit.
Probably I will never see you again, but for the first time I can say: I had all I want despite the time we spent together, I had it all. There's no regrets.
In spite of the confusion that comes sometimes in reason to believe in some things. Well I dont have to search to answers anymore. I'm totally out of your life.
I'll writing about you until I need it, until I feel in my heart that you're gone.
You gave me a taste of what I deserve, how I have to be loved, care and heard.
I've learned a lot of lessons and finally I can see my hope breaking into pieces, one by one I see them falling.
The resistance to this is driving me ill.
The songs...
A lot of lyrics speak how I feel, so I am not the only one.
I confess, I would like to see you, see you walking around street, distracted, without noticing me.
Just one day and everything has change
I dont want to write how fair were all that
Oh shit... I never met your dog
I can't erase your messages
Shit
This whole shit is a big shit
I feel I can't talk about you to anyone, but I do it anyway
One day I'll be tired enough and I'll forget you
I trust it
I am alone and only think about us
I search for you in the middle of the people
I can't see other guys with expectations again, they don't atract me, fuck I don't wanna that magic for now, I need time
This silence between us is our remedy
Hurts me, but It's necessary
It does our feelings turning in line
In perspective
Calm is the key
But holy shit I am wondering again about our possible future
This is so embarassing
Cause you know we barely know each other, this shit is crazy
I hope that I can write about you like I was an audience of my life
After you I understand what I felt about the other guys.
I can imagine the decisions you made, I can think about you in every aspects, I mean, about your mind, I have my conclusions, I can judge you, but you know I realize that I have nothing with this anymore, your history is not my business.
I’ll never forget you. Today I aceppt that because there will be things in my day that will remind me of you.
I can’t erase what happened and It’s okay, I learned a lot, more than I could write here or explain myself.
To be honest when I remember you I smile.
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