Things that I'm going through...

I am learning Russian language and it's have been an strange, funny and exciting adventure, it's a beautiful alphabet.

I keep going idealising that guy because I need the feeling, I can't end up 'cause I really need to write about what I feel, I never felt like this before, this sentiment is rich altough sad, so it can't ended now. I know I'm a masoquist.

I think that he tries to help me to leave him. He doesn't talk to me, doesn't miss me in any way, he never ask me what I feel, what I'm doing, what's happening in my life, whats fucking goin' on and etc. The fact is that I never knew a guy with a sensibility for life like him, with respect with women work, that know himself and the fusion of feelings inside heart and mind, it's difficult to leave him 'cause he reads my crazy things, he give me support about what I write and dream, he encourages me, he is sweet, I've never found a cute guy, he is. And God it's so hard to let him go.

I would like tell him what I feel and he finally could say that doesn't feel the same, but not yet, or maybe I should 'cause this is the right feel that I really need to, because this would be the truth, all the rest that I've been through is a lie, is my imagination, desilusions, stupidness, misundesrtoodness.

Put this words out was the best thing right now, the truth is so much better, is a relief, actually. I should tell him. Courage girl, take courage and go. Don't think too much. COURAGE!

Who knows.

  

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